Why I do what I do

I guess it is hard to explain how I hard I work to try and change things for victims.  Somehow Lois (my assistant) understands and I am not sure why she can see it, I think Claudio might too.  She knew that I worked over Christmas, that I work until I drop every day trying to make things better for people.  I think that is why I get so hurt when people criticize things , because I pretty much give my life for my patients and family, but even my family looses out much of the time.  My life is split between those two things.  I have lost friends because I focus on helping people heal with trauma, and I am not enough fun etc.  Lois is a blessing in that she reminds me every day of how much I give to trying to help all those that suffer...probably a gift for something really good I have done, or maybe she can just see it.  She knows I work through lunches, until I go to sleep, first thing on rising, through weekends.  London is the only time I take a break all year!

And occasionally I have a moment, because in many ways trying to improve things for victims is quite thankless and in fact met with downright hostility.  At times like this - I look towards those like Ghandi for the courage to continue, because he continued despite hardship, same with Mother Theresa, the courage to make things better, despite it being hard.  They are images I can hold in my head to keep me going.  I think it can be hard to imagine how much energy I give, and so sometimes I have to question is this the right thing to be doing.  And then I hear some thing that victimizes the victims, and I can not stand by.  Most people just stand by.  I never do. Does that make more sense.